Adventure!

The last week and a half has been a barrage of colors flying across the horizon and emotions buzzing about my head. The other day I sat outside watching a lone red balloon ascend into the sky, unsure if I should name it beauty or destruction. Thinking both about the blue sky with the red balloon and the sea turtle that will one day choke on it.

Been caught up in too much chemistry and realized I'm not so good with handling all the pressure. When it comes down to it I was just a C+ anyways. Think about it. The ins and outs of attraction and sharing were never concepts I could master.

Spent the day eating ice cream dodging the sun in and out of shadows. Started this post eleven hours ago and got lost in the ins and outs of living. Can't remember the last time I ran around so much. Now I'm trying to get numbers to stick on my brain.

I don't know. Somedays I just think everything falls into place and others it looks like everything is about to fall apart. I don't know where the pendulum is swinging, but it always looks like its going up. These days, I don't get sad - just introspective. Sometimes I get lost in all the things I should be doing to make the world a better place, but even when I get back to living life I don't implement them.

I can't wrap my way around something that would "significantly" make a difference anywhere. I have no true passion. Politics, the environment, I care for them but they come and go. Most of the time I just sit and think wondering why things are the way they are and wondering if change is even possible or how to achieve it. I don't believe in institutions because more often than not, I feel that "we the people" have failed.  Can you be optimistic about the future but pessimistic about the past? Am I even making sense?

My mind is shutting off.

I have to learn how to count backwards.