A Fever You Can't Sweat Out.
8:14 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
[ Wake Up ]
The weather these days is too warm.
The high yesterday was:103.2
The low was: 99.8
I am thinking in snow but all my thoughts keep melting before they have a place to even land.
Today's high is 100:2
Today's low is 97.1
Right now I'm swimming inside myself. Literally.
I was writing something beautiful in my head last night on fever-shot thoughts, but now I can't remember it for the life of me. I was thinking anything to try and make me sleep. I wandered through the dog-yard and pulled up names wishing one of them would come in and jump up on my bed.
Oh how badly I wanted to be home. Oh how badly I wanted to feel anything but sick and alone.
And right now, all I've been thinking is how little this school cares for me. I called campus security because I really thought I belonged in the hospital and they said no, they wouldn't give me a ride to the hospital unless the hospital gave them permission. I called the hospital and they said "what are you talking about. We don't have time to make those kinds of phonecalls." I didn't know what to do so I just started crying and then I couldn't stop crying. Eventually exhaustion overtook.
I have a final in twenty minutes in Japanese but I can barely think in English. I didn't write my paper that's due today either. But regardless, I think I am still smiling. I think I am still happy.
I feel guilty about all that's been left undone. Right now I just want someone to bring me some flowers and a getwell card. I almost feel as sick as that time right after surgery. But now I don't have an entourage of people to come say "get well! we miss you!"
No Kerri, Johnny, Noobs and Ben to say hey girl, you still look beautiful.
I miss that.
But I've made new friends who've taken good care of me, even if they can't be by my side.
[ Pass Out ]
The weather these days is too warm.
The high yesterday was:103.2
The low was: 99.8
I am thinking in snow but all my thoughts keep melting before they have a place to even land.
Today's high is 100:2
Today's low is 97.1
Right now I'm swimming inside myself. Literally.
I was writing something beautiful in my head last night on fever-shot thoughts, but now I can't remember it for the life of me. I was thinking anything to try and make me sleep. I wandered through the dog-yard and pulled up names wishing one of them would come in and jump up on my bed.
Oh how badly I wanted to be home. Oh how badly I wanted to feel anything but sick and alone.
And right now, all I've been thinking is how little this school cares for me. I called campus security because I really thought I belonged in the hospital and they said no, they wouldn't give me a ride to the hospital unless the hospital gave them permission. I called the hospital and they said "what are you talking about. We don't have time to make those kinds of phonecalls." I didn't know what to do so I just started crying and then I couldn't stop crying. Eventually exhaustion overtook.
I have a final in twenty minutes in Japanese but I can barely think in English. I didn't write my paper that's due today either. But regardless, I think I am still smiling. I think I am still happy.
I feel guilty about all that's been left undone. Right now I just want someone to bring me some flowers and a getwell card. I almost feel as sick as that time right after surgery. But now I don't have an entourage of people to come say "get well! we miss you!"
No Kerri, Johnny, Noobs and Ben to say hey girl, you still look beautiful.
I miss that.
But I've made new friends who've taken good care of me, even if they can't be by my side.
[ Pass Out ]
0 comments:
Post a Comment