Adventure!

I left the gym yesterday and
Absently walked back
home along
a busy suburban high-way

I wove my way into Best Buy
and stared at movie titles
for three quarters of an hour

Still, I left empty handed.

***

Today I sloshed through the
Snowy sleet mixture and
found myself sitting
On the train.
Alone.
Again.

Watching the automatic doors
open and close
as the announcer told us
where we were.

***

I didn't know staying here
would be so hard when
I'd known I wanted to go.

It's the waves always at the shore
it's the bird never sitting still
it's the people leaving and the
regret, sticking around
for another cup of tea.

This shamble scramble life of mine is fraying at the edges. Worn-thin like a well-loved pair of jeans.

Do you remember the Tuesdays where we used to sit at the bar content in our own company? Now, look at us. Rummaging. Rambling. Trying to make sense of this tattered mockery of who-knows-what.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at or what I'm trying to say. These days I'm on watercolor thoughts. Everything is bright, bold, and flows so well together.

I want to throw my hands up and just chill out.

[break-in]

The leaves are all gone. Buried in the snow. Fall down. Thaw out. Decompose.

I'm sitting on the train again. Passing back and forth between different parts of my life. The school part. The home part. The in between part.

Feeling gray eyed in the morning and green eyed in the afternoon.

Woah, I never meant to break down, freak-out.fall down Fuck up.

[break-out]

just deleted that stupid thing called facebook.
we'll see how long it lasts.

is frightful.

It's a balmy - 6 without taking into account the 60 mile per hour wind speeds.
With wind its about thirty below.

Thirty below!

I stood outside for a couple minutes in shorts and a tee shirt.

Bone cold.

And all I could think was: I wish I was in Alaska.