Trying
9:07 PM Posted In poem , poetry , Possibility , slam Edit This 0 Comments »
I want to write my soul down
Feel the words of it pound out
In pictures and letters
Bound it up in poems and lectures
creative adventures that let you
See and understand my heart
From the start I want you to know exactly where I stand
Because someday the mystery of my life will unravel
In front of God and I want to make sure
he knows the journey I've traveled
So when I fight Him about having stolen
I can say "look I took it on accident" or
"That time I yelled at my mother
Another part of me was mourning inside
Wondering why the love inside me had died
And yes, I am reticent so here read this,"
Shoving the papers on His desk
"Now you'll know what I really meant."
But mostly I want to show myself I'm trying
Because I'd be lying if I said I had an excuse for every sin
I need to know what to fix and why
So when I say goodbye to this world
The story I've told will be one that says
I'm trying
I want to spill myself open
Return my soul to the ocean by revealing my guilt
Because there are days I know I've built up my perfection
But really, it's just because I fear rejection.
I need you to know I'm not an angel.
I don't wear a halo.
And if you want me to say why,
I'll say so.
I have stolen.
I have cheated.
I've denied and wrongly pleaded.
I have bribed and been the briber.
I have lied and been the liar.
I've been the bully and false-crier.
I do these things and do them still
And everytime I think I've conquered I lose my will
There are days when I wear eight million facades
And I look in the mirror and ask
"Girl do you know who you really are?"
I want to confide myself in thousands of pages
So I can rip off my masks and put one less on back later
So that one day, all that's left is the raw uncut unfinished me.
I'm not perfect, I know, but I'm trying
Because its the little battles in our heart
That let us know whether we are living or dying.
Feel the words of it pound out
In pictures and letters
Bound it up in poems and lectures
creative adventures that let you
See and understand my heart
From the start I want you to know exactly where I stand
Because someday the mystery of my life will unravel
In front of God and I want to make sure
he knows the journey I've traveled
So when I fight Him about having stolen
I can say "look I took it on accident" or
"That time I yelled at my mother
Another part of me was mourning inside
Wondering why the love inside me had died
And yes, I am reticent so here read this,"
Shoving the papers on His desk
"Now you'll know what I really meant."
But mostly I want to show myself I'm trying
Because I'd be lying if I said I had an excuse for every sin
I need to know what to fix and why
So when I say goodbye to this world
The story I've told will be one that says
I'm trying
I want to spill myself open
Return my soul to the ocean by revealing my guilt
Because there are days I know I've built up my perfection
But really, it's just because I fear rejection.
I need you to know I'm not an angel.
I don't wear a halo.
And if you want me to say why,
I'll say so.
I have stolen.
I have cheated.
I've denied and wrongly pleaded.
I have bribed and been the briber.
I have lied and been the liar.
I've been the bully and false-crier.
I do these things and do them still
And everytime I think I've conquered I lose my will
There are days when I wear eight million facades
And I look in the mirror and ask
"Girl do you know who you really are?"
I want to confide myself in thousands of pages
So I can rip off my masks and put one less on back later
So that one day, all that's left is the raw uncut unfinished me.
I'm not perfect, I know, but I'm trying
Because its the little battles in our heart
That let us know whether we are living or dying.
***
"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"
- Mark 8:26
I have no idea why I put this in here except that it was relevant to what I was writing.
***
"What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?"
- Mark 8:26
I have no idea why I put this in here except that it was relevant to what I was writing.
***
Wow I haven't written a slam poem in forever though slam lines/ideas are constantly lurk in my brain. Needs some editing. Rough first draft. Pretty good for a free write at one thirty a.m.
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