The Horizon Has Been Defeated
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These days sunsets sail out into forever. This little life of mine is shining brighter than anyone could imagine.
I'm still in disbelief that it ended so -- I don't know, but I'm in even more disbelief that it ever began. But it's ok, I think I sort of have this naive optimism in people when I really shouldn't. I have to say I don't think I really ever underestood him until I gained some distance on everything and had my rose color glasses stepped on. Once I gained that distance I realized how much it isn't worth it. It's got to suck, you know sometimes I think I was the only one who actually had standards for him, because no one else was ever surprised at how he handled things or treated me. I guess that right there says in itself a lot about us as individuals.
He apologized but I don't think he quite understood what he was apologizing for. I wrote a letter back to him but I still don't know if I should send it. It's no longer my job to help him. But maybe thinking like that is selfish. If nothing else, maybe I should send the letter because it could force some much needed introspection? I don't think he'd appreciate it and it would come off as tacky, mean-spirited, or worst of all an attempt to fix things. I don't want them fixed, not really. There's no point trying to salvage a friendship with someone who can't even respect someone he spent so much time with.
Oh well.
Anyways I've been living that dream so many people wish they could. Floating from one adventure to the next, living it up with friends. It's been absolutely amazing. The best part of life is not having to live alone.
Anyways, I started another book (writing) so I should get back to it. It's pretty slow going.
I'm still in disbelief that it ended so -- I don't know, but I'm in even more disbelief that it ever began. But it's ok, I think I sort of have this naive optimism in people when I really shouldn't. I have to say I don't think I really ever underestood him until I gained some distance on everything and had my rose color glasses stepped on. Once I gained that distance I realized how much it isn't worth it. It's got to suck, you know sometimes I think I was the only one who actually had standards for him, because no one else was ever surprised at how he handled things or treated me. I guess that right there says in itself a lot about us as individuals.
He apologized but I don't think he quite understood what he was apologizing for. I wrote a letter back to him but I still don't know if I should send it. It's no longer my job to help him. But maybe thinking like that is selfish. If nothing else, maybe I should send the letter because it could force some much needed introspection? I don't think he'd appreciate it and it would come off as tacky, mean-spirited, or worst of all an attempt to fix things. I don't want them fixed, not really. There's no point trying to salvage a friendship with someone who can't even respect someone he spent so much time with.
Oh well.
Anyways I've been living that dream so many people wish they could. Floating from one adventure to the next, living it up with friends. It's been absolutely amazing. The best part of life is not having to live alone.
Anyways, I started another book (writing) so I should get back to it. It's pretty slow going.
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